its been quite some time since we both parted...
for the first few days, you were still in my mind, my heart...
as the days went on, the memory of you seems to be fading away...
sometimes, i still dream of you...
but, all these dreams were simply ridiculous...
i didnt exactly care abt it...
this shows tat, i have given up on you...
i will nvr allow you to come into my life again...
the past is the past...
it's better to let it go now and carry on...
then to cling onto the past and nvr get a life...
because, wad really matters is the present and the future...
and definitely, i will treasure everything tat GOD has given me...
thanks for the memories...
but, they will be kept in a box, which will nvr be opened again...
-ashley-


life is in a mess again...
this is because, life seem so lost without you by my side...
life seem so meaningless with you...
everything seem like its gone overnight...
i tried my best to get over you, but yet, it failed again and again...
i tried my best not to think of you, but it failed, again and again...
i did all i could do to keep myself occupied...
reading, dancing, talking to some other guys, hanging out with friends...
ultimately, it still didn't work...
i reallly how long more i could survive without you...
maybe, one day you wouldn't see me in sch...
tat is cuz, i would alr be dead by then...
i really dunno how to get over you...
this shows how impt you are in my life...
this shows how much i love you and i always did....
maybe, you think i didnt love you so but i can tel you tat i always did...
maybe, you think i didnt cared for you, but i always did...
maybe, you think i didnt appreciate wad you have done for me, but i will always did...
remembering all that you have done for me, all tat you have given me...
maybe, you think i didnt try to make you happy, but i always did...
i am always trying my best...
i am always trying to keep this going...
i dun wan this to end...
but yet, you put a stop to it...
leaving me stranded at some place...
i am all alone, yet to find someone to save me...
i hope, one day you would be back to save me...
tat you would not leave me alone, ever again...
if you ever read this post, do know tat, I LOVE YOU...
and, i nvr given up on you, as much as you did on me...
and i have nvr blame you for anything you have done to me...
all this i am going through now, i did it willingly...
-ashley-


we haven talk since fri...
it took me loads of courage to ask if you wanna go...
it took me loads of courage to look into your eyes...
it took me loads of courage to laugh in front of you...
i didnt wan to act strong in front of you...
all i want is to be happy in front of you and hope that you are happy too...
i didnt mean to break your heart...
but wad matters most now is, there's nth left of the both of us...
not even a single dim of hope...
wad i longed for now is for light, hope and dreams...
i wan your dreams to be fulfilled...
i wan you to be happy...
all i can do is to look at you from afar and tat is all i long for...
-ashley-


it is right to dream isn't it?
sometimes, things which ain't suppose to be yours will nvr be yours...
why do i say that?
honestly, i am jus being emo...
i have no idea why...
we used to be very very close...
we talk, over the phone for many hrs, we sms everyday and we cared for each other...
but overnight, it's gone...
you said you were disrupting my life but you wasn't...
you left me without a work once again...
leaving without a words means that i will jus give up?
nope...
i am determined to keep my word and i hope you keep yours too...
i really want the hearts but i know tat it is impossible for you to do smth yet again for me...
i know tat times are different now...
i know tat i didn't treasure you well enough...
i know tat it's foolish of me to start regretting now...
cuz, no matter how much i regret, how much i show to you my repentance, you will nvr forgive me again...
i really hope things will get bettter for us...
i really hope you are doing fine and coping well...
-ashley-


things are getting worse as the days go by...
everything seem to weird...
from school, to home, everything seem to be in a mess...
i dun feel great on the dance floor anymore...
i dun enjoy dancing as much as i does before...
i dun seem to love dance as much as before...
but, there's one thing which is clear in my mind, i wan to get better results...
tat's my only goal now...
i will prove to everyone which i can...
-ashley-


jus came back from pop bbq(:
it was very very very AWESOME:D
I LOVE ALL MY SENIORS:D
THEY ROCK TTM:D
IF IT WASNT FOR THEM, I WOULDN'T HAVE LOVE GUIDES SO MUCH:D
BECUZ OF THEM, I STAYED IN GUIDES AND I LOVE MY GUIDING LOVE<3
GUIDES IS THE MOST AWESOME CCA:D
NO MATTER WAD, I WOULD JUS LOVE GUIDES<3
CUZ, EVERYONE IN GUIDES ROCK TTM:D
EX-SENIORS, SENIORS, MY BUDDIES AND JUNIORS:D
ALL SO HIGH!
WE SHALL CONTINUE LOVING AND HYPER-ING IN GUIDES<3
-ashley-


again, it's happening...
my life is in a mess once again, thanks to you...
i am definitely not blaming you for wad you have done to me...
it's all abt the trust we've built up these few months...
sometimes, i really dun understand wad you are thinking abt...
all i've given you, all i've done for you seems to be not enough...
it seems as though you've given me more right?
actually, you are totally wrong...
i think i did give in alot too or even more...
for you, i lose my friends...
for you, i gave up making friends with them jus cuz you didnt like it...
for you, i gave up dancing in order to accompany you...
for you, i even have so sacrifice my recreational time to help you do things...
i realize...
it's jus a feel conversations and you are like this alr...
time after time, hacking into my account, hacking into my phone...
jus to know wad you shld'nt know...
secrets are meant to be secrets...
dun you understand?
now, things aint secrets anymore...
i dunno if this is a good sign...
but, dun you feel tat we are drifting further and further apart...
it doesnt seem as though you understand me anymore...
it doesnt seem as though i understand you anymore...
things seem to change for the both of us...
you and i...
-ashley-